Free Writing

It was kind of awkward I'll have to admit.

I never thought I'd end up there in that stone cold, yet humbly furnished apartment. Walking up that staircase to the see the night sky was probably the best part.

Too much wine is never a good thing, and my friend and I found that out the hard way. There were too many issues with that night, and yet for some reason, we still thought it was O.K. to go there.

I wore a new white dress I had just bought at Victoria's Secret which managed to accomplish what anyone would want out of a Victoria's Secret dress. It looked how you think it looked I'm sure.

My friends and I decided to start the night out at Bacchus, never thinking we would be up until 6:30 A.M.

Over wine, we discussed our lives. It was a while since we had all really caught up. We played silly games like, "Kill him, Date him or Marry him."

Most of the guys mentioned I wanted to kill instead of marry... I found that to be strange. None of the guys I really wanted to marry anyway, or would never even consider.

There are too many guys who like to play games, and there are too many guys just looking for a girl to bite their bait. I wasn't in the mood for playing games and you'd think that would have stopped me from going out.

Games are what you have to play apparently to get a guy, unless their one of those really nice, overly sweet ones who will never bullshit you and always come off a little too strong. I'll admit, I like the ones who are impossible to get and are devilishly cunning and somewhat brute.

I was glad I went with my friend though, someone like me who doesn't entertain a waste of time.

However,

for some reason, there is something about one person that I can't seem to put my finger on.

I'm usually a good judge of character and against what everyone has told me, I still choose to see the good in him. I'd like to think that he is able to open up and show his true self, however, I'm not too sure he ever has.

At least to me. But who am I, really? I'm not anything, or at least not someone he would probably open up to. Why would he?

And yet, against my friends words and advice and even strangers, I really cannot let this go. It's probably the part of me that always wants to see the kindness in people, no matter how horrid they may actually be.

I hope I won't be disappointed that I wasted at least some energy in thinking that he could be nicer than he somewhat shows.

A truly talented soul, intelligent as anyone I've met here, and someone who is easy to talk to, I hope I'm making the right decision.

I'm probably putting too much thought into it.

Just saying...